What brings you happiness? Is it your job, the money you make, or the joy of a fulfilling relationship?
It often feels like we’re on a quest for happiness, but it can be a bit like balancing on a three-legged stool—imagine that!
The legs of this imaginary happiness stool are ‘contentment‘, ‘alignment‘, and ‘control‘. Knock out one leg, and your happy feelings might just topple.
That’s the intriguing concept from the book ‘Happy Mind, Happy Life – 10 Simple Ways to Feel Great Every Day’ by Dr Rangan Chatterjee, published in 2022 with a total of 263 pages.
In this post, I’ll break down the 10 principles from the book that resonated most with me.
I hope that by sharing these 10 simple ways, I can save you time from reading the whole book while laying the foundation for you to have a happier, more fulfilling life.
I genuinely believe that when we’re happier, we find the energy and time to do more for society and the planet. Let’s dive in and explore these simple ways to boost our well-being!
Say No to Your ‘Want’ Brain
We all have a part of our brain that wants more – more money, more vacations, a better job, or a better relationship. It believes these things will make us happier.
But, the truth is, chasing after these desires often leads to short-lived joy. Soon enough, we find ourselves searching for the next quick happiness fix, like spending money we don’t have or staying in the wrong relationship.
Our necessities are few, but our wants are endless.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950), Irish playwright
Real happiness, experts say, comes from simple things like being healthy, getting good sleep, taking walks in nature, and forming genuine connections.
You can discover what truly makes you happy through activities like writing a journal or practising meditation regularly.
The key is not to follow the urges of your ‘want‘ brain but to build a positive inner conversation with yourself. This way, you can find lasting happiness in your unique way.
Too Many Choices, Less Happiness
How often do you find yourself standing in front of your closet, contemplating what to wear, or endlessly scrolling through streaming services, unable to decide what to watch?
The paradox of choice affects us all!
Surprisingly, having too many choices can decrease our overall happiness because each decision, no matter how small, demands cognitive effort.
Knowing what is enough is wealth.
Tao Te Ching, thE main book of Taoism
If you constantly feel indecisive, start by questioning the meaningfulness of your choices. Focus on decisions that truly matter, like choosing a life partner, as these can significantly impact your overall quality of life.
However, many choices in our daily lives are, in essence, false choices. The first step is to limit these false choices.
Avoid buying more clothes than you truly need, keep your pantry simple with just a few essential items, and don’t hesitate to seek help when deciding what to order from a menu.
By reducing choices from, say, 10 options to 3, you free yourself from the anxiety of decision overload and conserve energy for what truly matters to you and your loved ones.
An added benefit of cutting down on physical items is the positive impact on the environment!
Embracing a minimalist lifestyle promotes sustainable living and reduces unnecessary waste that often ends up in landfills.
So, simplifying our choices is good for our well-being and the planet.
Be Kind to Yourself
Do you smile at yourself in the mirror each morning as you would a dear friend?
For many, the idea of smiling at ourselves can feel uneasy because we struggle with self-love and feeling like we’re not good enough.
Often, we become our harshest critics, undermining our own efforts in a self-sabotaging cycle. That can harm our overall health, mentally and physically.
True and lasting happiness becomes challenging if we don’t like ourselves.
The solution?
Practicing being kind to yourself. It makes you feel better emotionally and boosts your physical health, including strengthening your immune system and slowing the ageing process.
Growing up in a culture that emphasized self-criticism, I used to think self-love was selfish.
However, discovering the concept of self-compassion in recent years has been transformative. It’s never too late to cultivate self-compassion.
A simple starting point is to speak to yourself with the same encouragement you’d offer a friend facing challenges.
The more we treat ourselves with respect and kindness, the more our brains understand that we are good just as we are.
And that feeling of contentment is what truly makes us happy.
Reclaim Your Time for Happiness
Ever caught yourself muttering, ‘I’m so stressed because I don’t have time for this and that’? It’s a familiar refrain for many of us.
The constant hustle might create an illusion of importance, but deep down, it doesn’t equate to happiness.
Startlingly, about 80% of both men and women in the workforce feel time-poor, a sentiment shared by many stay-at-home parents, too.
Feeling ‘time-poor’ takes a toll on both happiness and health.
In the middle of all this busyness, the things that should make us happy, like using social media without thinking or watching too much on YouTube or Netflix, sometimes make us feel bad.
Time, arguably our most precious resource, deserves intentional use. The first step?
Ask yourself: ‘How valuable is my time?’ Redefine your moments by cherishing activities that bring joy, be it quality time with loved ones, leisurely reading, or even allowing yourself a bit of daydreaming.
As you liberate yourself from time poverty, you’ll notice a shift — less reactivity to challenges and more patience and support for others and yourself.
When you’re no longer stressed by time, life feels more in control, and happiness becomes more than a fleeting emotion.
Navigate Challenges with a Positive Mindset
Dealing with life’s problems calmly is something we all know is good, but not everyone can do it easily.
When something goes wrong, many of us get stressed and worried. This happens because we tend to imagine the worst outcomes.
For example, let’s say you’re waiting for a train to an important job interview, and you find out the train is running late.
It’s easy to start thinking very bad things, like missing the interview will ruin your whole career, and maybe you’ll end up with nowhere to live.
In the train situation, a calm response would be to contact the company, explain what happened, and see if they can wait for you or reschedule the interview for another day.
If they don’t accept your explanation and cancel your interview, you could be glad this isn’t the right company for you.
When a challenge occurs, take a deep breath and calm yourself first. Ask yourself what a productive way to deal with it is.
The prison is in your mind. The key is in your pocket.
Dr Edith Eger, American psychologist & a Holocaust survivor
You can also call someone you can trust and ask for advice if you can’t figure out a solution you feel comfortable with.
Handling challenges with a calm mind gives you a much better chance to solve the problem and strengthens you.
Happiness comes along when you have a more positive outlook.
Cultivate Joy Through Simple Connections with Strangers
In a world where positive social connections play a crucial role, intentionally engaging with others, especially strangers, can bring unexpected joy.
Simple gestures, such as saying hi to neighbours or chatting with cashiers or baristas, can create meaningful interactions that contribute to our overall well-being.
As social animals, humans naturally connect with others because it feels good.
Imagine these social interactions as a self-prescribed dose of vitamin S, which is as essential as vitamins C and D for our well-being.
Regular doses of vitamin S provide a continuous sense of reassurance, affirming our place in society and our connection to something bigger and more meaningful.
Be Less Judgmental
Do you ever find people at work, in your neighbourhood, or even among your family members whom you don’t really like?
It’s normal not to connect with everyone. But it’s crucial to understand that each person has their own life experiences that shape them.
When you encounter someone who doesn’t fit your idea of normal, try not to judge them.
Consider their background, childhood, and life experiences. Understand that, given their circumstances, they are likely behaving in a way that makes sense to them.
When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself
Earl Nightingale, American Radio speaker and author
Embracing compassion can be tough, especially in regular interactions. However, cultivating empathy is essential.
Practice maintaining a positive attitude or telling yourself positive things about them.
The more you work on being less judgmental, the easier it becomes. This change helps you feel more in control and brings contentment to your interactions with others.
Build A Health Relationship with Your Phone
Our phones are essential tools, but oftentimes, they hinder our happiness.
Many wish to spend less time on their phones and more time with friends and family in person. We often reach for our phones on autopilot.
This struggle isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s an invisible battle for our attention waged by some of the world’s smartest minds.
We dive into online worlds without realizing how much they impact our minds, leaving many feeling worse after just 10 minutes of scrolling through social media.
Social media acts as a stage where people showcase the best parts of their lives. Comparing ourselves to these curated online personas triggers our ‘want‘ brain, convincing us that more holidays, more money, or a bigger house will make us happier.
To enhance your well-being, it’s crucial to establish a healthy relationship with your phone.
Creating intentional phone-free periods, such as placing it in a different room, introduces a slight inconvenience that significantly reduces usage and contributes to a healthier relationship.
Consider deleting apps that consume significant amounts of your time. If this seems overwhelming, organize these apps into a folder, moving it away from your home screen. This simple action minimizes distractions, preventing mindless usage.
Being intentional about phone use, not reaching for it out of boredom, leads to a happier and more fulfilled life.
Increased awareness of our phone habits allows us to reclaim our time and sense of worth, fostering a more intentional and joyful existence.
Create Your Daily Holiday
Would you like to be on holiday every day? What if I told you it doesn’t require packing bags and travelling?
Instead, it involves creating small, protected spaces to find mental stillness, gain perspective, and engage in self-reflection. Daily solitude is a fantastic way to achieve this.
Reflections act as a mirror, allowing us to see who we are and where we stand on our journey to becoming the person we aspire to be, tapping into our innate wisdom.
Ask ourselves those four questions below regularly (source: Dr Deepak Chopra):
- Who am I?
- What do I want?
- What is my purpose?
- What am I grateful for?
Allow a few minutes to reflect on each question. The beauty is that you don’t even need to worry about the answers!
By posing these questions, your body and mind enter a healthier mode, your breath slows down, your mood calmer, and you become more aware of your surroundings, fostering mindfulness and acknowledging your true existence. Then you’d come to realize that you’re enough!
For a more active type of reflection, like walking meditation, especially in nature, which can lift your spirits and improve mental well-being. Any form of movement you enjoy can bring the calmness you seek.
Other daily solitude moments, such as meditation, journaling, or breathwork, help maintain a sense of calmness, stillness, and reflection. These moments turn your thoughts inward, gaining solitude and perspective.
With this daily holiday, you’ll likely find yourself less reactive and stressed, feeling calmer, more present, and gaining a clearer perspective on your life, which certainly brings happiness.
Give Yourself Away
It’s no coincidence that many religions encourage the idea of giving. Sharing and helping others can make a big difference in how we feel.
Giving yourself away, like being kind or forgiving, being a volunteer or donating to charities, isn’t just a good moral practice – it’s also a proven way to boost your mood and reduce feelings of sadness.
Research even suggests that such acts, giving your kindness, time or money away, might be more important for our health and happiness than eating well or exercising.
Our kind acts, whether big or small, don’t just help the person receiving them—they also make the givers, us, feel good.
We’re not meant to go through life alone; we all need connections with others.
By giving to others, we not only make our communities better but also find a deep sense of happiness within ourselves.
Final Thoughts
Life is like a puzzle, and our happiness is made up of many small pieces.
If we add a little happiness every day, our life becomes a little brighter.
You don’t need to do everything at once; just start with one of the ideas shared above, the one that feels right for you. It’s like taking the first step on a new path.
It’s time to embark on this adventure toward a brighter and more joyful life—one small step at a time.
When more people find happiness, it contributes to positive changes for the planet, creating a healthier Earth for us all and future generations.
It’s time to start!
